PILL BOX POP No38

 

cos

miracles

dont happen

 

but never

my ordinary darling

hold tight, let it go

 

forget

to

exist

just fly

 

DIAGRAM OF A BASTARD HEADACHE

the headache is a classic
boring thru over the left eye

a volatile wormhole dangerous with
pulsing
pulsing
sci fi matter

it is angered if i move

or consider it

~


& the window cleaners
bish & bash & swipe & swish
talking handsfree
about justins cake
tasting like crap

is nails dragged on a chalkboard

thunderclaps & electroshock

is tinfoil & teeth

to
me

photo Migraine No 4 courtesy of the Dagenham Archive

PILL BOX POP No64

 

& 

out of limitation comes

well

not my

er not my

er

 

let it go . . . 

 

cannot

recall

remedy

 

sos oxox

 

FEARS FACED - A SHORT STORY POEM TREATMENT

all his burned belongings 

are ash & mess now 

effluent in the estuary pull

he stands naked now

abroad & in a desert

smashed spectacles at his bleeding feet

theres murder behind him

confessions & incriminations

in the newspaper mail

his last meal was

his mobile phone

fears faced

or

getting there

~

lobotomy spoon held loose 

in a zombie hand

his doubts jam now 

flung on the nights scree

hes waiting on police now

an ambulance
bit of rendition maybe

or holy wrath

& he is smoking Camels again

or trying to - hes clumsy

his fears faced

or

getting there

photo Widescreen Blobs No 8 courtesy of the Dagenham Archive

PILL BOX POP No87

 

collect doubt with grace

& pretend its a plan

this is often untried

hold on each day

to your authentic breath 

to your wonder heart

to your fear of crazy ideas

to that tight

unknown presence

you are likely a work of art

 

love you

 

POP SALAD VOL 3

playing 

count the tropes

playing 

spot the unsupervised extra

looking at the camera

playing

with the rope-a-dope 

glass box today


~


he believed in personal freedom

so very much he became a policeman

specifically to let everyone get away


~


dooms riled up
&
waving his sabre 

on the pledged edge border

hes dancing on the cantilever
we built with sand & guesses

inside 

my 

regular

fever

photo Lampposts Ultimate Corruption courtesy of the Dagenham Archive

POP SALAD VOL2

i lose myself
in the stories
in the glass

they power up my downtrain

my rust might even shine


~

escape - what a word
its smooth
but with a sharp end

its punctuation & finality

no, wait - 

its achievement & permission

photo Sky Over The Bungalow Line courtest of the Dagenham Archive

POP SALAD VOL1

certainty

what does that feel like ?

is it
a crown of ice water
on a heat wave noon
at you beck & confident call ?

or

never ever needing 

to check your pockets

every 20ft ?


~

its a childhoods greatest hits

polished clean
& neatly packed
in your cv rucksack

a lifelong soft glow backing

photo Sunshine on Easy Street courtesy of the Dagenham Archive

BOOZE SONATA VOL2 THE DREAMING

 

&
in the bars
in the Dreaming
im ok there
&
can drink without fearing
darks sad blinkers appearing
&
taking me down & disappearing
into the carpets industrial weft


~


i punch at the jukebox there
gold for my heart
my heart is so full

someone
uncollapsed
my star


~


my gibber is verbose
&
i am accelerated mercury

i am erudite araldite
&
night bus cosy

i wish
i was
a guitar

photo Night Bus courtesy of the Dagenham Archive

BOOZE SONATA VOL1 WORMHOLE

those tiles
over the pub urinal
i saw them crack
under the pressure

of my supporting hand

i remember 

crumbling dust 

ceramic fragments
dusting my white knuckles


~

i remember zipping up

i remember stepping back

& 
the tiles werent tiles

they were lino

but stamped like tiles

no cracks there
no knuckle dust

& no urinal either

was a broom cupboard


~

i remember coming out the cupboard 

to barstaffs sarcastic applause
& 

i remember my composure 

was rock solid

like a drunk-numb dover cliff

& i lit a cigarette
& i went to the pool table
& to all my drinks there

but there was no pool table

was a crammed refurb gastro slot

~

i remember a waiter

he told to take my smoke outside

& i did

blue cue chalk 

on my

pissy smoking fingers

easter island composure

weathering the london dark

photo Night Dark courtesy of the Dagenham Archives

BREAKFAST BUFFET VOL5

 

i looked for answers

in all that old music

like it was tea leaves

or chicken bones

or goat insides

or hp-smeared fry-up leftovers

my diy vodou 

found versatile guitars

~

the truth dogs

they pant in the kennels

How To Disappear Completely 

is a beautiful song

this isnt

~

lots of things

i want to do

not many i can

& that small venn overlap

is locked down & out

in the 

clusterfuck pandemic cupboard

of 

sickness rules ok uk

photograph - Where Did That Stoned Glow Go courtesy of the Dagenham Archives

BREAKFAST BUFFET VOL4

 

my hearts beating in my face

i cant feel my edges anymore

thats the best lines from this weeks tv

then i get a code blue

thru on the receiver ham

its the river my friend its the river

challenging me

to match 

its changing pace & disguise

~

updates

john woo owns slo mo

& 

has custody

of kubricks 

irish doves

codeine linctus

is no good for a buzz

not really

no

the pm is the 

lowest meat content sausage 

available outside regulations

& 

a ponzi scheme of narcissism

crying 'alas, alas, alas...'

photograph - Between Tech & The Trees #18 courtesy of the Dagenham Archives

BREKFAST BUFFET VOL3

 

the thrones empty

soon as my arse hits it

achievement owns 

the comedown void

success is blunt

i assume

~

chemical imbalance

melatonin dropoff

unsleep unhacked

holographic bacon

toast on the side 

~

we gurn

between the tech & the trees 

& the deep plastic of seas

& the long flat rolling hilltop land

of

dumb

animals 

& our ancestors stone

~

the mood is always uncertain

& the moon terribly strong

i am channelling 

i am auto diary

its not me

i am not here

this isnt happening

How to Disappear Completely 

is a beautiful song

photograph - Existence Confirmation Via Shadow Record courtesy of the Dagenham Archives

BREAKFAST BUFFET VOL2

 

i am lead

like plumbing

like paint

water runs coffee brown out the sad taps

poison(corn)flakes off the dry dry wall

& the snow tries - it tries

but i am tired - tired

a reformed monster / a reformed ham 

no eyes for nature 

no belly for bagels

~

theres songs waiting

for my waking instant

they autoplay

dylan today

... & gallantly handed her

my very last piece of gum ...

~

the union cables

filter in alone

in this disaster headlock

capitalism breeds fatalism

in

its

art free

dry tundra well

dont stop 

be bolder

just holler

from the moses mountain

you call your nested bed

photograph - Slot Machine courtesy of the Dagenham Archives

BREAKFAST BUFFET VOL1

 

i am redacted 

but secretly

black stripes in the blind spots

& the snow 

first welcome

becomes vertiginous

~

i block my ears

build a nest

tunnel my eyes

& unmet in unoffered middle ground

i fiddle with 

the tiny things

in my tiny world

unproven between

the tetrapods

& hash browns

~

my compromised reach is compromised

& well aware 

side effects 

include compulsion

i keep my guard up

or is it down ?

either way

attacks are only paperwork

MI5 gave up long ago

photograph - Small Victory courtesy of the Dagenham Archives

FORGIVE MY INARTICULATE DRAMA

'everythings SO hard
 cant say it simpler

 

 the EFFORT it all takes . . .

 

 & 

 everything has become 

 a Concept of Itself
 if that makes sense to you ?

 

 i fear i am depersonalised . . . 

 like an online photo montage'

 & we went from there
 on the lockdown phone

 therapy-
 well i enjoy the process

 & we covered bereavement
 & started on the stages of life

 friedrichs & armstrongs

the stages of life caspar david friedrich

NOT ME NOT HERE

not me
not here

not left any eu

not building any walls

not me

not here

i am not sure about borders at all


~

nationalist reduction

isolated patriotism

up the 

oppositions sold-out hole
all over

& under 

englands green & peasant land

~

hello denial old friend

set me free again

to see again

the way again

to the amusements

& a simple seaside pier

CARVERY DESSERT VOL5

you-

youre
too good
too honest
too pure

i am jealous


~


im talking to you
leonard anne william
pablo enerst nick
jim & jack & pat
kurt & all the rest

so often
such perfect 

versions of yourselves
that 

my 

heart becomes afraid


~

must take it all on naked

staying still

only stalls 

disappointment

clothes only cover the scars


~


its no real choice
zen is in the babysteps
the rest in others hands

CARVERY DESSERT VOL3

the songs we sang
in the 

wooden school hall

half-hymns 

& carpenters
& simon & garfunkle

the instrumental appreciation

with

herbie flowers tuba smarties

folding gym ladders
slid away 

up the panel wall

it all made me sad enough to cry

&

it was an important moment

when i was told

this was ok

CARVERY DESSERT VOL4

 

 life is in the birth of IT              
 in the anticipation of IT               
 the building & conception & dance of IT 

 pick your IT well                       

 & feel free to weep                     
 like i do                               
 for the cliches we brew                 
 that roll us                            

 numb & disastrous                       

 around a dying sun