1. a blog post a day keeps the doctor away tho i do need professional medical advice 2. i spend all morning implementing the trickery my therapists suggested & hence & thus there is an afternoon of sorts after all 3. i know this fridge hum would be louder would be a warning siren if i knew no one was coming home to me
the day is the face of a head in a hood its like a fridge hum with eyes its an attentive unstable streetside ripple
and maybe it looks off somewhere else but we never catch it
and maybe its no more pleased about it than we are i see it as an unblinking lizard dancing on hot sand making that noise like a hoover does when its next door or one floor up threatening the walls or the whirled artex ceilings and it sends in big black flies to find us if we lay our withering bulks down inside in a half-arsed attempt to hide in the afternoons dead fish ebb tide
two nurses giggle - have morning sun blonde halos against backdrop of grim Borg-square multi-story
i eavesdrop / sat on the smoking bench dead person plaque in my back - nurses only laughing out loud at how their egg mayo sandwiches will stink up the fridge / they're high on cameraderie and vitamin D
and that day is a naked and sober stale crust dead in black water
but instead i listened and i heard the hum and cough of the fridge and the whoosh of the pilot light and the tiny splashes of the cat drinking his water
wheres ford? and his yells of mad drunk? he's here under new crowns his delusions cleaner and only medical - from the Hot Pit of Shit to Heavens Dumb Cusp he digs sober in the predawn for Truth Elation and the free words in the frost or for the small bathroom pops that stick reality to any gods fridge like a childs awful scribble