cant think about it cant not about all i missed all i will miss all thats taken ~ cant think about it cant cos of the pills popped & cos of the safety locks kicking in inside ~ adaptability i realise (oh fuck) is a strength & flaw
this air freshener is like i would be if i was an air freshener the unnecessary bulk the strange nozzle & a spray that dribbles weak & scentless into blots shaped like africa drying fast on the cool bathroom floor
my heads an fm station all the hundred hours orphan baselines & exiled hooks & i breath in fruitbowl orange & breath out the darkside greys but the dark comes out as dust & it gets back in gets back in my eyes a phantom coda riding destiny thermals
birds pretty afternoon chatter effervesces in the holly bush my migraine hinterland is appalled ~ & todays submerged brainfudge mantra is - ups / ibs toilets meet the street*
off winters berm & inside summers umber i read back my own book words by the fire escape drop & the snow shovels cobs for existential confirmation in the hereditary mirror
i stack words like this to stop them losing meaning they become untethered alone you see & stacked like this i give them each other as ballast & intervention
from comopoertyproject/nakushita-kotoba-lost-words-by-no-regret-life
'every six months or so like the seasons i suppose it seems to me a bit of me dies somewhere inside' & we started from there my essential therapy & the therapists education
cant explain it there arent the words & my analogies are too extreme so i explain what i can & they understand what they understand & we meet in the middle militancy in the margins
up the mountain of health to the golden cat up there we climb we do in spurts of spirit & hope & we fall we do tumble in the thick msg slick looking up at the mountain top & the golden cat up there stuffed crust pizza in his hand previous allergies inconsequential
last nights tv game show voices echo still next dawn mates rates bonhomie to me is cold green room ice classic dark side reaction to producers soft antidote hard sell
yes in the muddied water washing & drinking print & cast ~ & i feel like i am waiting i feel like i am at the end of something & at the start of something all the time ~ & yes - in IN the muddied water of airstrip ones doublethink headspace swamp