BANKS

my bank balance
any fees
the 
online facilities - all that
theyre
a
willing
blind
spot
i trust to a sedate unchanging routine

but
some mornings
i 
MUST
get ontheline and look - i'll be feverish and chain smoking
and
in
a
cold sweat 
but
if 
the big number is big enough - thats ok with me

but you know you got to check
cos of all those bankers you hear about
in the news and the clever papers
in
the
grown
up world - well theyre adults taking childish risks
sheltered 
by
friends with wigs 
and 
all the laws they got 
just 
for 
computer numbers

well
these bankers
theyre
riding
gold
ponies
round the diamond mines

and
they
dont
play
monopoly
fair

from telegraph.co.uk

PUSH TOASTED

push

best of the first ten issues

toasted

ORIENTATION ANIMATION

the horrible singing 
  in
  my
fog-grogggy dream head 
  is 
intimate and close-loud
  but
  is 
only the alarms bad song
  and
  too late 
  too soon
anxiety has crawled out its cave
  to
  cook up
  a
hot-knot meal from nothing 
  and
  it
  devours it 
  and
  it
  savours it 
with hot sauce on its sticky claws
  deep
  down 
at the breakfast bar
  in
my early morning animal gut
  till
  i
fight it with logic and reason and evidence
  into 
    such 
      space 
        orbit
that
i'm
left
wondering
  these are my hands?
  and
  where ?
  why ?
  ouch !
  and
  what ? 

from wallpaperhi.com

PUSH IT REAL GOOD

PUSH

BEST OF THE FIRST TEN ISSUES

KEEPING IT CLEAN

AND

WORKING UP A LATHER

WEIRD BUBBLE

the clinic receptions radio
sits on thick files
aerial at 45 degrees
catching
invisible
signals
from a commercial station

PAY FOR THE FRONT AND GET THE BACK DONE FREE

is sung over and over
in West Country farmers voice
to
sell
double glazing 
and UPVC

PAY FOR THE FRONT AND GET THE BACK DONE FREE

theres shelves of paperbacks for sale
25p each
so 
many 
big black Twilights

PAY FOR THE FRONT AND GET THE BACK DONE FREE

i am early 
i wait 
i fidget
i can see the young girl 
she used to be
in the receptionists tired eyes 
she 
announces
'i am not cut out for office work AT ALL'

PAY FOR THE FRONT AND GET THE BACK DONE FREE

its a weird bubble in time
caught
in amber
or
a
snow globe
dystopian and faded 
on a pensioners sideboard

 

from criterion.com

PUSH IS NOT FOR PUSSIES

push

the best of the first ten issues

NOT 

for pussies

 

ok,

it is for SOME pussies 

sorry boy . . .

EXCUSE FOR A CAT PICTURE

he pokes his head
out
between
cracked morning curtains

dust in his whiskers

he jumps over to the bed
with a sound
like a kids squeaky toy makes
when
you
press
its
belly

he flops sideways
on the sun warmed quilt
all
his
fur
is
dusty in the sunlight

cat i say
youre SO dusty
and
old 

PUSH MEDICINE

PUSH

BEST OF THE FIRST TEN ISSUES

FOR WHAT AILS YOU

COME ON START THE DAY

boil two or three eggs
grind up cheap Tesco coffee beans 
put the kettle on the stove
then
hit the radio button
commercial radio says 
  heres an emotive hit you know well 
  dont worry
  no challenges here
then
ads
say
  pissing blood ?  its cancer
  go on holiday - maybe a death cruise ?
or
  join
  the
  RAF 
  career oppurtunity - no bombing !
and
  if you have a failing bladder
  go ballroom dancing
  have the time of your life

i take my coffee cup to the back step
and
gaze
at
the agenda-less trees

from kidsinaustralia.com

PUSH STANDS OUT

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best of the first ten issues

stands out

REAL NEWS

REAL NEWS 

THRU THE DOOR

 

PUSH

 BEST OF THE FIRST TEN ISSUES 

THE NIGHT IS OPENING CREDITS

the night is built with memories
weird and pointless and calling

    ghosts 
    crawling
    up
    your
    backspine

the night is built 
with 
imagined words - like EB and HELLO
    and 
    at
    2 AM i'm in the hallway stillness
    sipping
    cool
    water
    and
    wondering . . .

the night
is
dry
is
endless

is 
opening credits
for
a 
nature 
show

NIGHT STATIC

i
stretch out again 
day over / day done / goodbye day

ok - relaxed
no - punch the pillow
right
relaxed

light
on
dim

dont move dont move dont fidget be still

i drift - ok
its good
this is good
sleep is EASY !

but the light MUST go off 

(or my dreams will be HORROR SHOW NEON)

so - light off
and 
the 
purple
static 
behind my closed lids
  becomes
    a 
      Buzzing Neon Chaos !

      mythical animals half formed

      entire soap operas

      marching armies

      like
      impressionist films

      unpaintable 

      inescapable

oh sleep -  how to shut my eyes
even 
more ?

from thehindu.com - The Faithful Heart

BEFORE THE ALARM

up 
before 
dawn
i hear the haunted noises the night left out

the slow honk of marsh geese
    black dragon shapes 
    against 
pale clouds
like
    photo
        negatives 
or 
peeling paint patches
    on
    back
    alley plaster

i feel Pause and Potential . . . world in a museum

fog horns sad with travel call bored with warning
    and
    theres a low mandrax moan
    of
    working steel
    from
    the
    new cranes
giant
    like sci fi
        on 
        the
new dredged banks

 

from troyjohnstone.com

BLOOD CARS

i dreamt 
of 
murder cars 

their heavy bumpers
and
thick glass eyes

and
of
all
the 
ancient
dangers
of 
traveling from A to B

opening the front door
i
see
them everywhere

waiting

in
the smudge of dawn

 from chrisandphilpresent.com

I JUDGE THEM (EIGHT)

1. ARRIVING

    they
    ride
    in  
white Audis / chariot high and money chunky
and
park
entitled and bold
in
the boutique street rain 
    following
    their 
home-county pointy noses
    to
    window
    tables
    and
    skinny lattes


2. ENTRANCE
   
    some
    have
long horse faces / over-bred and dental
    some
    have
large features of jogging bottom builders
from grandma's
tradesmans flings
    they
    all
    hang
    up
    wax jackets / keep flimsy shawls on
hiding
bulbous
adams
apples
bobbing with common people nerves


3. BFAST     

    they
    order 
high piles of mushrooms with their pinkys out
and
english breakfasts for novelty
that
they
eat
from
deep
bowls
    not
    looking
    the
    waitresses in servant black
    in 
    their
    european
    eyes

their 
    faded 
        brush of tan is a worry
need
another
easy winter jaunt 
    for 
    a
    ski-sun
    top-up


4. JUDGE

    i
    decide theyre trivial
    
    first-against-the-wall
    
    part-of-the-prob 

trust fund monkeys
not
at
work
on
a
weekday 10 AM
    loud
    blouses
    tucked into
    dress jeans 
that 
  would 
    never 
      survive
        a 
          rodeo 

car keys and iphones on the table
they
talk
and
eat
like
no one is starving - and HIM
    the
    ONE
    him
    some one brought along like a pet
    fails
    in
    an
attempt to edgily wear all black 


5. BACKLASH

    but 
    too 
    i 
    wonder 
    how their shopping and pony minds 
might judge me

        they  
        are 
        staring


6. ME

my walking boots are pitted with cat scratches
  and
  my
  jeans
  dont fit too well
    my struggle-mind 
    is 
    playing three Queen songs
      thru
      a
      calm marsh mist
        and
        eight
        half-written poems battle for birth

  i
    try
      to catch
        them - tapping them 
        into 
      my 
    phone - a panicked row of awful typos 
and 
wrong 
unhelpful
suggestions

          it 
          looks 
          like
          texting 
          to 
          them

my
face
is
deep
in
a
coffee mug - ive not taken off my hat
  and
    the
      shadows
        under
          my
            eyes
              are
                deep
                  as
                    dusk

 

7. MIRROR
 
NONE
of
us
are
working - weekday morning 10 AM
i know MY reasons 

i am doing ART / getting out / getting air

and - who knows ? 

they 
could 
be 
setting 
up 
a 
charity 

and

NOT talking holidays / ma and pa money / penthouse clubnights

at
all
    


8. ACTION NO ACTION    

    should i go over there ?

    introduce myself ?

    discuss year zero and scorched earth ?

explain
how
i
find
judging
a
revelatory mirror ?

    i judge
    they judge 

across diner spaces

(i see them looking / going quiet / whispering)

    no

    my omelet has arrived
    on
    a
    flat
    and
    normal
    plate

i eat it / it looks like a slice of edible moon
and
i
watch
the
rain outside
that 
falls
on
everyone

 

from zeroto60times.com

FOOLS (TWO)

1. PARROTS

white fools in pimped hatchbacks
pat
themselves
on
their
Super Dry
backs
for talking to Asians in IT
but
Copy and Paste
bad
syntax
sentences
from
dull parents knee-jerk ready-meals
and
from
hysterical newspapers - a staple like milk and kfc   
on
their
chip-oil kitchen tables and morning backseats
till
their
Clipboard is full
and
they
dont 
have
to 
think
at
all 
anymore


2. ABDICATING RESPONSIBILITY

staffroom fools
say

'i dont go up to london - too many blacks'

we call them on it
and
they
whine

'my dad is a racist - i never had a chance'

their
self-awareness a one trick pony
abdicating

they look
shame-faced sometimes
at
how
weak
this
sounds
when
theyre
not
bunkered in the pub with the match on five widescreens
and
their yes-men in pastel polo shirts
top buttons done up tight
pouring
weak 
suds
out
of
four-pint pitchers

from socialistworker.co.uk

DINNER AND NIGHT (TWO)

1.  I HEAR THINGS

i hear a plane
drone-groan dangerous above the grey Thames river
  wheres
  he
  going then ?
  will science let his rubber wheels land ?

i hear crows calling monotone
across empty fallow fields of churned war mud
  what
  DO
  they
  want ? 
  better rates for graveyard scenes ?

i hear a pigeon
breathing black bacteria and rustling greasy feathers
up
among
the rotten apples and flies
in
the
tree
above me
  i bet 
  he's fat 
  and lazy - a sky rat full of drive-thru fries

i hear big trucks muted reversing beeps

(imagine drivers dull hungover eyes 
squinting into a cracked rear-view)

and
a
slow 
siren
dying like a battery

  or
  maybe its the wind 

maybe
  its ALL the wind

from etsy.com

2. I SEE NONE OF IT

i stretch out on the garden lounger
listening 
to
the
stuff
make
its 
noises

  Out There 
  
    in 
      the 
        world

i see none of it / i pick at my caked teeth
scratch
the
cuts
on 
my 
head
scrape matter from my ear lobes
and
sneeze phlegm on my boot tops

i look up / see the pigeon

  fat and lazy 
  like 
  i 
  thought

waiting for dinner and night

like
me 

from freehdw.com

SEVEN DAY TEASE

monday mornings blue fug
  seeps out
the disappointment box 
  like
  horror 
  film 
  mist


and


friday pms 
slow warm buzz
  is
  a sedative reward
  for
lessons
learned
so well and tamely 
    from 
    school days
    commandment
    cement

from justoutsidetheboxcartoon.com

DECAFF

LIKE A TITANIC DREAM (199?)

the bar had a fake front

someones idea
of
a
Mediterranean bistro 

plastic palms on a pretend street
chipped plaster, all that

buried
deep
in
the
sunless
mall

i drank there 
before
my 
shift - screwdrivers / lots of ice

and i had a vision

all the shoppers were dead - walking dead

nothing
but
an
old
memory - like watching newsreel footage
of
a
gone
age - the Titanic ballroom / dancing before drowning

i drank
i was a cipher in denim

my
role
was
observer and it chilled me inside

it was dark / nearly night
the
winter
outside
like
a
limbo void

i finished my drink / swallowed my fear
and
walked
between the bodies and their square shopping bags

sick
inside

careful not to let anyone touch me in the crowd

what 
might 
happen
if our plasma met ?

i
went
to
work - the hardest thing i ever done

i clocked in
put rum in my coffee and waited for the midnight break
to
smoke
weed
in
the
service road watching shadow thin foxes
tear
open
abandoned
brown paper fast food bags
on
the
icy sparkle
of the empty car parks black top

all
of
us
running
out the night clock
till
we'd drive to the truckers diner
for
cold
beer
with
hot breakfast

a hot breakfast and a warm dawn
i
hoped
would
take
the ghost chill from my bones

from zombie uppercut.com