PARTY, PART 9

so, 

mount the steps by toking smokers into the long dark bar

of gold and black wood

my

shirt

is

too tight/too brown

and there is a long lurid red cut on my forehead 

where i crushed a beer can last night

drinking out on the dew wet lawn

and

there SHE was

back to me/talking

her man tall by her side

so, 

i hurtle by calling out 

where's the toilet? 

to some vague acquaintance

i wipe the street sweat from my head/i cant go in cold!

not street fresh!  dazzled blind by traffic and humanities holes!

hot steam 

clogs my arm pits

and

itches the corners of my face

no,

yes,

i hide in the toilet to regroup

(dazzled! dazzled? yes)

i not seen her since before LAST XMAS when my optimism was at its

blind valium height

and 

NOW

i'm fresh from the rain on the street - DAZZLED 

and shaky early drunk

been hassled by a lost couple misunderstanding an A–Z

looking for some closed meat market

and i'd asked them directions

to this bar

to this bar/to this bar

where i see HER

my uber muse 

i never ever touched