LOVE

FELT it before - 
ive SAID it before
mostly in tears - 
i've WRITTEN it before
mostly in tears
but not felt its warm amber wings 
beat the black air beside me before.


felt its fire/felt its destruction in the 3 am bed/hot rocks dying on my chest.


felt its overwhelming urge/felt its desperate need in the coffee back yard/bike grease on my trousers.


felt its hungry fists punch holes in the door/felt its homelessness in the sportwear alley/my hands with only themselves to hold.


felt its boiling evaporation burgle my soul away/felt its blood bleed out in wedding hotels/staining good shirts forever.


felt an absence become physical beside me in family restaurants/picking at food while biker couples dance.


felts its prisoner and its loser and seen its poor eyes big as moons on summer pub seawalls.


felt its forever print of amateur exclusion/felt its mulch leaf
melancholy in glass wall flats and out on small morning
balconies/suggestions falling deaf on hangover ears.


felt its apocalypse online and its crisis in the dark drinking corners/my eyes never rise from my empties.


felt its truth in silence in the sudden telephone call/felt it sour beautiful songs sinister/some i never hear again.


now i glimpse different.


glimpse its simple human heart/its knowledge thats quiet and its
peace between.


glimpsed its living gold


and
all the given glimpses are
without
the
pain

i always thought was one and the same.