friday 9 pm.
i look at the veiws. st pauls looks like ww2 all the time.
saw the camp there.
protesters
paint placards.
rasta sing about jesus soldier. i feel an ATMOSPHERE - but only for 4 seconds.
i try to believe they are not hopeless.
i photo'd them under spotlights.
the starbucks toilet is out of order.
i have a dry muffin/huge decaff.
south bank . . .
couples walk arm in arm in jackets/jumpers on shoulders
towards the tall flames
outside a bar.
i photo'd them. i can't drink tonight.
desperately i dont hate them/only soft bodies struggling to win something of their own
before the long sleep.
desperately i try not not to hate them/only shadows of memories happening.
i smoke/i photo'd them.
in a big pub/rammed with young people/flying conversations/tourists eat late dinner in the corner.
i try not to hate them/order a coke and take it outside/look down river at the hms belfast.
i smoke/sign says i cant - but i'm outisde!
hms belfast/used to know a girl who had the keys/want to steal it.
blow the bridges all the way to parliament
and
there
i'd make a stand . . .
i try not to hate anyone/try not to want to blow the bridges of joggers and cabbies and workers and walkers/only soft machines with misery or joy up to the eyes.
and
on
the
train
home
a knobchucker announces his jeremy kyle bullshit to a trapped magistrate and the carriage.
i shut my eyes/i look outside the window into peoples quiet flats/tvs on.
but
the
train
is so bright i mostly see my own reflection
and
i dont photo it/i desperately try not to hate it
but
think about my beautiful home
and
the kettle i'll put on there.
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