BAD NEWS ANTIDOTE - SMALL TOWN FLUFF #4

due to the unprevented

preventable dooms

i present again here

a kind of antidote

i call small town fluff

~

the cat hides again

behind the bedroom curtain again

from the men working

over the road 

on the rooves 

i tell him he is safe

& that the men are only

involved in essential maintenance

of exactly the kind of structure

he sleeps in safe & warm

he looks at me with disappointment

& good lord man i say

i am doing the best i can

& i get him

spray can cream

on our very best saucer

& the suns out

& its spring

& it all looks kinda twee out there

& its lunch time very soon

WALT DISNEY & WALT DISNEY

i blame 

the sleep deficit

& walt disney

the meat microscope

& porco rosso

cos 

the more i think of it

the stranger

it seems to me

that the cat & the birds

dont talk out loud

in english to us

~

well now i gone & overthunk

& find it weird

that we can

make  tal k

           i ng

& w er 

        d s

  w o 

      r k  fo r us     a t     a 

                                l l

HAIKU FLUB

 

essential work flows

a river shallow from drought 

& the road trip dreams

EESENTIAL WORK, REPORT 239

last december i audited

the draft folder in the word blog

there was almost 200 unfinished
essential reports waiting on filing

& i have been working them
& i have been filing them

tweaking & teasing then launching 

these origami boats on the gigahertz ride

& now today

well 

theres 238

so i will never be done
& how perfect is that

MEETINGS

sudden meeting at 8 AM is of course just for the hosting boss to get his ticks checked on his nvq tick check sheet 

ridiculously to kick off he wants someone to speak up & say something about themselves

& no one does of course

we all need cigarettes & its really no time to be wedged in a stuffy room set out in a rough prayer-meeting / auditorium half circle

we filled it from the back row forwards

we all suck hasty coffee morning eyes blank-gaze at the bad neck skin sat next row up

we are all under carbed

meeting 101 have food duh

no tick box to check for that on the nvq management tick check sheet apparently - i did ask 

& then this guy from contracts a new guy only pipes up & says

    i  got  a  dog

it is hilarious for weeks in that way work things are


~


mandatory & beneficial career gateway meeting is mandatory doublespeak jag more like

some office suits lame idea pushed to brown-nose points out the board 

not that he is attending or anything

gave in his notice this morning i heard ffs

but there is no career gateway & they know we know there is no career gateway so they cover it up by saying

    a  l  l  u  d  e

so much & so often it quickly means nothing at all

we say allude all the time after that & it is enough in that way work things are

from thefutureofwork.net

ISNT THE SUMMING UP OF A MANS LIFE A SORT OF PRAYER

TIME SLIDES

out
the
front
window
suburbia burps
on schedule

and
past the marks
the cat makes
with his interested nose
the
regular joes
and
ordinary janes
start their engines
and
dive
into
that cement river
to everywhere

~

and up there
the winter sun
is a heart in free fall
doing half a job
dizzy with worry
autumn betrayal
and arctic gasps

~

the winter sun

it
only
just

j u s t

touches
the bungalow ridge tiles
over the road
at
noon

in a golden smear
like night out
next morning
lipstick

and if i think i hear it sigh
its probably the water pipes

~

time slides
it just does

i go to piss
and
its
dark when i come out

like i blink you know ?
and then its black dark

time slides
it just does

~

and theyre all driving back from work now
1000 things done and behind

mooring the hatchbacks
on their concrete berths

and
i
pull
the
curtains
on
the
day

twist the blinds flat
and 
put the lamp lights on

cos time slides
it just does

downwards
and then up
into itself again

uncontrollable
and smug about it

from omegavintagewatches.co.uk

DECLARATION POPS

  BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL

   i declare heaven  Real
 an equal opportunity employer
         and
        affordable

   i declare  Murder 
  never to hurt at all

   and  nothing to be Sad
       any
       more


  THE GRAVE OF THE UNKNOWN DREAMER

     i declare
  famous lives
     celebrated

       check  &  duh

     too 
    tho -

  i declare  chanceless orphans
 to be the  unknown dreamers

   stuck in the thrust of sun

      their
 celebration
    overdue


  WORK POP

 work
 working
 workaholic
 drink
 drinking
 alcoholic

 break
 breaking
 breakdown
 sleep
 rest
 eiderdown


  STRENGTH POP

    real
  strength

 is not  impenetrable

     but
   ballet  flexible

 open as a western movie sky

   antihero
 unformed & rootless
     talking to animals 
      on
     the
   desert  skin


  DRUNK WRITERS

  no  longer compatible
 with the drugs of my trade
     i
   take
 another
     route

  as  equally old
   and  cliche

 homey lube  in the toy age
    an ace punt 
  thru the timed exit
    and
 plenty  of 
  sitting  down

from wiki grayskull

SMALL LIGHT WITH A COLD GLOW

to be absent from work
for
an
extended period
is to be at once mysterious and forgotten
and
any
return
to
anything
but 
instantly re-established status quo
for
instance
shorter hours and a lighter work load
results
in
strange silences and half-looks
across
the
department
even
tho
procedure has been followed
without
favour

 

 from pixxgood.com

THE PEOPLE I WORK WITH

she 
points
at
the 
dry riser

OH GOD I LOVE THESE !

she 
opens 
the 
cabinet
and
points
at 
the
landing valve

MAN, THATS WELL SICK !

then
she
dances
into
the lift

the people i work with

falconfireproducts.com

RADIO POP

cry a work tear at radio pop

fm pop rap
caught my tough egg napping
with
a
story
of break up and make up
and
domestic abuse
i
cannot
relate
to at all - except the word hurt hung out there 
on a womans simple voice
over
a
slow 
mournful beat
thats
rising
like sunday waking up

Motorola DROID 3

LAUGH OUR DEATH AWAY

the moon is a blur
a smudge
a moody streetlight

a
stain
in the frozen fog dawn
and
complex-simple 
like jazz

i'm alive
i'm alive

out
in
nature

but

heading behind mans walls
where
we
babble in the day dungeon
and
laugh
our
death away

Charles Stafford Photography

INCREDIBLE BULLSHITTING MAN 1; FLEECE NO FLEECE

Now I wake in the bowfarts now its Monday.  Mind scene is Sunday-night squashed-orange apocalypse sun - Sex Pistols Submission plays despite silence.  In scalding shower I’m feeble feel scared feel shakey.  

News says helicopter need 44 hours maintenance for 1 hour flying crashes 31 marines are over.  News says law to prison uncharged people pushed forward. 

Tie new Caterpillas up tight I belch breakfast egg.  Too tired I yawn terrible tears.  It is St Timothy’s Day had bad guts bible says drink wine not water.

Lift at Bear Corner now in back of boss Julies blue Corolla.  Janine up front hands folding over handbag holding fags.  So tired I’m seeing tracers stripe over fresh turned fields.  Dirty lazy cloud lays low. 

Go by Eastern Garage;

HOW COMES HE SELLS THEM PORSCHES SO CHEAP? Julie says as if no one knows.

I DON’T KNOW Janine says half-deaf doesnt hear.  Always saying I DON’T KNOW in cars then looks shifty.

Cushion-cloud like dihydrocodeine cuddling me makes irritation impossible.

COS THEY’RE SECOND HAND, BEEN THRASHED HIGH MILEAGE, AND PARTS AND INSURANCE COST A MINT I say.

Boss Julie gone blank Janine nodding looks shifty.

Office scene is waking computers whir then stutter.  Blank monitors blink then strobe.  Bad lights blur then glare.  I feel all 4 AM. 

New guy starts.  Looks like thin Asian Lenny Henry.  Announcing hes Muslim but dont pray or anything.  Says dont worry about bacon or nothing.  Says got 8 cars driveway full.  Nightmare getting out he says. 

CALL ME ASH NICKNAME COS I USED TO SMOKE SO MUCH,  STILL SMOKE BUT DON’T WANT KIDS TO SEE, SET AN EXAMPLE THAT’S WHY I WORK, DONT NEED TO, LOADED ME, FROM WRITING SONGS, ROYALTIES IN MY WIFES NAME, SET AN EXAMPLE, GAVE UP WAS EASY BUT I GET THEM SO CHEAP, ANYONE WANT SOME?  

Lists 8 cars.  Ones silver limited edition Mercedes SL.  No one knowing what to say.

Boss Julie taking him to Personnel get him a pass and that.  Boss Julie not crying eyes clear.  Desperate for distraction got some.

Buzz is; 8 cars?  Consensus is; judgement reserved.

HARD BEING NEW ISN’T IT THO?  LOOK AT THE STATE OF THOSE TEA TOWELS, ALWAYS FORGET TO TAKE THEM HOME AND WASH THEM.  I’LL PUT THEM IN MY BAG NOW Janine says.

Everyone goes mumsy goes THE LITTLE ‘UN about a  grandkid acted up.  Everyone clasping coffee cups nodding and nudging.  Faded ink faxes flow out fax ignored.  Everyone goes OOOH everyone goes AAAH.  Its like the blandest dream I ever had.

LUCOZADE SO EARLY? Richard says.

I LOVE THE SMELL OF GLUCOSE IN THE MORNING I say.

Rolls his eyes at the women shuffles off clutches papers and PDA.

Vicky’s coming in 8 minutes late.  Hangs up small bag and small coat spraying perfume up small tunic.  Tells me got some horror scenes stuck in her head she cant shift she says. 

WHAT FILM WAS THAT? I say.

I DON’T KNOW DO I? 

DESCENT?

NO!

THE ORIGINAL RING?

NO!

ERASER HEAD?

SHUT UP!

WIZARD OF OZ?  I CAN’T WATCH THAT EVER AGAIN.

SHUT UP FORD YOU DICK! 

CHILL OUT GINGER BOY.

WHY THEY ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT GRANDKIDS?  I’M OFF TO SEE MY MUM GET SOME MONEY she says.

Julie supervisor coming in for small flat-bed trolley sighs hello.  Had corn rows at interview gone now.  Eyes like Cameron Diaz still there.

GOT TO GO BACK TO MY CAR.  FORD, GOT AN NHS FLEECE FOR YOU IN THE BACK IF YOU WANT IT she says.

OK.  NEED A HAND? I say.

Car park stuffed with hatchbacks slopes downhill.  Looks like toy town to me.  A nurse is nervous veers onto verge.  Parked walks away looks behind.  I pull pink files out of pink Golf boot.  Theres pink Kickers in there.  Fresh air is good blue of ghosts up there.  Gives me her fleece JULIE S written in it.

NEVER WORN IT FORD she says.

YOU LIKE PINK?  YOU GOT PINK BOOTS IN YOUR PINK BOOT.

FAVOURITE COLOUR FORD she says.

Office scene is I write Ford in felt-tip now says Ford/Julie.  Our names together feels intimate.  In it I am bona fide.  NHS it says with our Trust underneath.

OOOH LOOK AT THE BLUE EYED BOY Janine says.

Shirley Rose and me down ITU is a pre-fab.  Floor creaks bent over bumps.  I take trach-care off shelves seriously sort it right.  Keep active keep awake.  Cant believe how big a day is.

FUCKING MESS SHIRLEY ROSE, STORE ROOMS A HOLE I say.

I KNOW FORD Shirley Rose says laughs loud.

Knackered relative stayed the night coming in.  Bags under bleary eyes dont know where he is.  Sharon ward manager might be Egyptian finds him frowns fierce at us.

GOT TO WATCH WHERE YOU SWEAR FORD Shirley Rose says.

GOT TO WATCH YOUR LAUGHING, THEY CAN HEAR YOU OVER IN POST GRAD I say. 

Shirley Rose laughing.

ITU housekeeper twitchy eye coming in tells us they’ll need more 60ml cath-tip syringes to last the week she says.  Tells us they got a man in a bed crashed into suicide died jumping off A13 bridge.  Selfish they say.  Obviously not thinking straight was he i say.

Lunch is corned beef in brown baps.  Crossword book out CAVALIER and CORNISH I say.  Cram fuel in watch coffee cool mesmerised by steam.  Tense and trapped I go outside smoking alone count birds on broken conifer.  New guy Ash gone up Admin Block lunch with his wife works in legal.

EIGHT CARS! everyone says ROYALTIES? SONGS?.

PM scene is up Level D shift stock out big trolley to small flat-bed go in the renal ward unpack.  Machines bing and chime bright and calm.  Clear away empty boxes nurses leave everywhere.  Deftly catergorise catheter drawer.  Nurse getting ear re-pierced drips red blood laughter and squeals. 

Warm on wards new bona fide fleece out in corridor in big trolley.  Finished I go back its fucking bloody gone.  Made me feel bona fide.

Mattress collection dude wears a fleece is yards away.  Not seen him in a fleece before.  Bona fide.  I stare him evils by Osteoporosis.  Watch for guilt.  See no sign.  Feel like a cunt.

Office scene is boss Julie acts surprised to find fleeces boxed under her desk.  Me and Ash try them on.  I write DO NOT STEAL in back of mine.  Everyone wanting new one now tutting.

HOW DID SHE NOT KNOW THEY WERE THERE? 

I ASKED FOR ONE MONTHS AGO! 

Making me feel bona fide. 

Home scene is I pen pithy prose raw and rushed then shattered I shower then 6 PM shout SHITS at faces failing on quiz show then re-run Simpsons WE OBEY THE LAWS OF THERMO-DYNAMICS IN THIS HOUSE Homer says. 

Dinner is soup then waffles out the toaster eggs on them brown sauce.  Now I pour large brandy ice cracks under amber.  On sofa on TV J Bourne slides apart Motorola I used to have he drops it.  Old films are old but am amazed at how old new films are.  

Tired to tears.  Ice cracks under amber.

TRUE XMAS TALE

so the door isnt letting me go clock in, i cut thru xray where a bluedress is checking the red drawers on the crash cart and come out by the Costa.
and when i come back thru the stubborn door a four foot plastic snowman stands there with the paint on his hat and scarf worn off, all shiny round the edges.
he wasnt there SECONDS ago. 
i eye him.  an urge to smash his plastic face rising.
i go make coffee.  i smoke.  colleagues come in.
THERES A SNOWMAN they say WHERE DID HE COME FROM?
i say BY THE CAFE?  I KNOW.  JUST APPEARED.
NO, UP BY THE BOGS.
i'm in the corridor looking up to the corner with suspicion. there he is.  right at the end, looking at a liquid fire extinguisher.
innocent and sinister.
closer.
we work. its busy.  endless stream of unwashed fleece clad drivers file in till the packages make a messy mountain.
i'm deep in paperwork and ink stamps when a bluedress stops by, asks for a light, says WHOSE SNOWMAN IS THAT?  IS IT THE PORTERS?
i say DUNNO and give her a lighter i wont see again.
i wheel pallets in and out, organising, choosing an order and there is the snowman outside the door to the porters lodge where the smell of cooking kippers is overpowering.
hes halfway up the corridor.  
closer.  
pale and old, rejected.  
innocent and sinister.  
closer.
and in the afternoon when the flow has subsided and i'm in a soft chair in the office across the way with a bar of fruit and nut and another cup of coffee talking about that driver who looks like Uncle Bulgaria who wears a Masonic ring on his knuckle and has no sense of humour, i notice a dirty white outline peeping round the fake pine door frame.
JESUS i say WHO KEEPS MOVING THAT THING?
i'm up out the soft seat and am staring him out close up.  
his smile is a faded moulded mockery of seasonal joy, his eyes wont meet mine where ever i stand.
JESUS i say.
at some point he's gone.  i worked the last push, got stuff ready for lock up, pile papers under the teddy bear in some else in-tray and he's gone.
not even in the alcove full with a tangle of condemned trolleys and chairs.
i go to clock out by reception where sad relatives sip coffees outside Costa and hide their worries in over priced baguettes and over sized muffins and guys on drip stands shuffle around in pyjamas reading the Mail.  
door behaves and i wrap up in grubby cycle clothes in the changing room by pharmacy.  
SEE YA SEE YA SEE YA SEE chorus my departure.  i'm heading to the stairwell by the office where the bike is locked to the metal handrail by abandoned contractors sheeting and an ancient wooden ladder tied with frayed yellow rope.
of course there he is.  snowman.  innocent and sinister and right in front of the fire exit.
i get out of there.
if hes there tomorrow, i WILL smash his plastic face in.

WANT TO GO HOME

work is endless
phone rings like a fire alarm
and
i
go
smoke
out by the ambulances
and
see
a
sun low as trees at just quarter to one

winter

busy

and of course i'd rather be at home
watching
the
low sun sink and burn from a garden recliner
home ground coffee in my hand
filing slow outdoorsy reports
till
the
grey fluff of cloud between the blues
and
above
the
rooftops
goes
pink
like the cotton wool
girls use to dab make up away in the evening
before
they
dress in childlike pyjamas
and fold their legs underneath them
to watch any tv
grey pink clouds
left
on
the floor
by the bathroom bin

WORKDAY ART SEARCH

at work
of
course
and
again

thinking about buddha and his noble beginnings

thinking about warhol and his pre-fame work

when
they
test
the
fire alarm and i know it must be thursday

or else it isnt
and
theres
a
fire

and i smelltaste the burnt flesh
where
the
surgeons are working
in
the room next door
and
i
look
for art and for sense
in the tumble stacks
of
plugs
and
pipes
ripe for ramming and jamming
in the feeble soft machines

but
its
all
too noisy here
to
skew
my eyes that way today

DUMP LOCATIONS

its only when having a crap
at
work
under
the
harsh
strip bulbs
that
i
see
how raggedy and frayed
my
red
pants
are
crumbled down around my work boots
cos
at
home
the lights are friendlier
and
they'll
be
a
book hiding
my frugal keks