SHIRLEY LAUGHS, A HOSPITAL TALE

Wave a hand like a Jedi auto-doors would slide open anyway.  Maternity entrance C level scheduled caesareans tear tracksuit mums.  I heard them when I been in there their buffalo bellows.  Small shop baby clothes and bacon crisps.  Tense dad in Sergio Tachini buys a Sun all night eyes no socks. 

Sky throbs a backlit grey dreamt I peddled a dirt bike up a barren mountain pursued by suits I shot at with tiny broken pistol.  It is St Apollonia’s Day patron of dentists.  Cheers last night Norm was genius TRIPS TO NIRVANA ARE DEDUCTABLE he says. 

Our bit of level B is brown anus of hospital.  Cadavers clog corridor corner saw a taut foot flop out finished dull and dead once.  MOR comes out kitchens radio staff share morning stout.  Big-eared linen man Patrick big feet point outwards at maternity lifts mutter about wrong PM. 

BROKEN LIFTS ARENT MAJORS FAULT PATRICK I say. 

Walk in 8 AM brown Gola’s like Boy George New York community service in the paper.  PPE not arrived.  High windows frosted wired break light into dust.  Fruit sandwiches and a book are in my bag.  Early over thirty still new feel old.

Shirley Rose skipping down our bit of level B hair  like child’s always down.  Bumps into me for fun shoelace undone.  Milks in a mug Hobnobs in a hand I try to crush for fun.  Her hand is cool and bony.  Shirley Rose laughing.

I’M COMING BACK FOR YOU JOHNNY.  WE’RE GOING TO THE MI.  YOU BEEN TO THE MI YET? she says goes into an office.   Tiny Debbie Lee hunched over PC called me hot legs at interview.  Mug has her dog on it.  Spills coffee down black boots on box files and full bins. 

HELLO LITTLE BOY she says.

HELLO LITTLE BOSS I say.    

Our office Janine says she saw TV called Fat Women And Feeders made her feel like Twiggy.  Vicki says she saw half of Creep on pirate couldn’t watch it it’s a horror she was alone.

WHAT YOU DO LAST NIGHT JOHNNY?

Drunk I called Rumsfeld a RED SKULL CUNT when news came on crashed in clothes.  Full of codeine now.

OH, YOU KNOW I say.

BLUE EYED BOY SO SECRETIVE Janine says.

Ash coming in Vicky goes worried.  Wife works in Legal.

DO YOU THINK HE HEARD ABOUT PIRATE DVD? Vicky says.

Ash ignored by everyone burnt his bridges.  Hangs his coat thumbs his phone.

GOT TO RING THIS GUY ORDERED 16 MARBLE TOPS FOR MY KITCHENS IN THE HOUSES I BOUGHT PROBABLY HAVE TO LEAVE EARLY he says phone to his face goes outside.

HE DON’T GIVE A SHIT I say.

SHUSH. Vicky gone nervous.

JOHNNY YOURE GOING DOWN MI WITH SHIRLEY Janine says TAKE THIS DOWN.  Clear bags full on the floor.

CAN I GO?  NEVER BEEN DOWN THERE.  I WANT TO SEE IT.  BE INTERESTING.  WONT GO ALONE Vicki says.

CAN I HAVE COFFEE FIRST?

DO ME ONE Janine says.

     Shirley Rose skipping in with empty mugs.  Coffee hello counters codeine goodbye we crowd out.

I WISH A PLANE WOULD CRASH INTO THE HOSPITAL OR SOMETHING.  I KNOW THAT’S BAD.  OR A BIG FIRE.  I DON’T KNOW, I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO DIE Vicky says.

Shirley Rose laughing.

THERES A NAME FOR THAT.  IT’S COMMON TO THINK LIKE THAT.  EVERYONE WANTS SOME VICARIOUS DRAMA I say.

Vickys hairs shiny red today been here since school she’s 21.  She don’t know what vicarious is I’m calling her a MOODY EMO BOY.

FUCK OFF I’M NOT A BOY she says.

Shirley Rose laughing.

I am carrying bags feel tall because they aren’t.

TELL ME ABOUT THE MI SHIRLEY ROSE I say.

I HEARD ITS ALL A BIT CUCKOOS NEST Vicky says.

THEY GET WORSE THE HIGHER YOU GO.  I THINK IT’S FUNNY.  TOP FLOOR THEY’RE REALLY BAD Shirley Rose says.

Connecting corridor on Level A we’re going down stairs crowded with consultants cleaners contractors Shirley Rose laughing at the cram.

MI unit.  Out corridor windows empty courtyard in a green cage green hoops and abandoned basketball.  Green plastic chairs looking chucked.    

LETS GET THE LIFT Shirley Rose says.  Shirley Rose bobs on balls of her feet waits to laugh.

WHERE WE GOING?

ONLY B.  WANT TO GET THE LIFT.  IT’S FUNNY.  Shirley Rose laughing.

Lift announces A FLOOR posh woman’s voice.  Shirley Rose laughing pressing B.  B FLOOR lift says Shirley Rose laughing.

B Level quiet corridors divide to locked doors. 

GO ON Shirley Rose says.  THAT BAG DOWN THERE.  MI ASSESSMENT. 

I’M NOT GOING ALONE Vicky says. 

Vickys on my heels Shirley Rose bobs on balls of her feet waits.

Worn cardy woman walks up corridor arm held tight by nurse in white.  No slap hair flat least of her concerns.  Calls out a noise when I’m close surprised I stop.  Her eyes shine her eyes sparkle her eyes wet with water watch  thin white hand touch my shoulder.  Far away satisfied  smile goes quiet goes on.

SHE JUST HAD TO TOUCH YOU nurse says.  Her eyes kind her eyes dry her smile a beautiful smear of tolerance.

Vickys on my heels I’m pressing the buzzer.  Another worn cardy woman inside walks in circles.  Hairs a birds nest.    

THE CLEVER PROFESSOR IS HERE she says eyes shine eyes sparkle eyes wet with water fix on me.

OH MY GOD Vicky says.

Nurse in white opens up eyes are on my chin.

NEEDLES? she says.

IN THE BAG.

GAUZE? she says.

IN THE BAG.

THE CLEVER PROFESSOR IS HERE eyes shine eyes sparkle eyes wet with water smile a ghost of joy.

Nurse closes up.

SEE ITS ALRIGHT Shirley Rose laughing.

DON’T LIKE IT Vicky says WOULDN’T COME DOWN HERE ALONE.

THEY’RE ONLY PEOPLE.  LOOK AT THEIR SHINING EYES I say. 

NEXT ONE, THIS CORRIDOR, PRESS THE BUZZER, I’M COMING WITH YOU Shirley Rose says.

Vickys on my heels two nurses open up laughing.

WHO ARE YOU? they say.    

DISTRIBUTION I say.

COME IN THEN nurses say.

YOU’RE A RIGHT DOUBLE ACT I say.

LOOKS LIKE WE A GOT A BLUE EYED HECKLER!  GET IN HERE HOT STUFF.  GIVE THAT BAG IN THE WINDOW.

Pass bag in office window for blank face black man tache like TC. 

THEY’RE MOODY IN THERE BLUE EYES nurse says pulls a face. 

WE’VE GONE NATIVE OUT HERE HOT STUFF other nurse says strokes colleague’s curly hair. 

I’m smiling into dancing eyes smiling back.  Press door release button lights go out.  Nurses laugh outside Shirley Rose laughing.

     TURN IT BACK ON BLUE EYES!  Nurses holding hands skip away.

Lights on short man suddenly one foot away.  Three partings and patterned jumper hair least of his concern.

PULL THE DOOR, THE BUTTONS IN HERE TC says.   

Silent pharmacy man silver trolley boxes chains and locks rattle waits to come in.  I’m holding the door wide when three partings bolts out.  Bolts but not that quick.  Short legs more of a scamper scuttles away.  The two nurses inside the ward laughing in each others arms.  Nothing happens.  TCs looking away.

Door swings shut.  Pharmacy man in me out.  We’re alien scruffy on clean tile morning sun shines in frosted windows.  Shirley Rose laughing loud.  Three partings gone. 

WE JUST GO? I say.

I DON’T KNOW Vicky says.

LETS GO I say. 

Shirley Roses going red holds herself up on corridor railing hair tangling with evergreen plants.  Separating her hair I move her on. 

NO ONES DOING ANYTHING she says gasps the words.  She cannot believe any of it.  HE JUST RAN OUT!

I got her by the arm Vicky is on my heels.  Shirley Rose is redder.  Beyond laughter now.  She is crying.  By the lifts she is helpless laughter silent.  Nothing happens.  No alarm is raised.

DID THEY SEE HIM? Vicky says.

THEY SAW HIM I say.

WHAT DO WE DO? Vicky says.

WE GET OUT OF HERE I say.

Shirley Rose slumped against the wall laughter bubbles up.   

Shirley Rose laughing all the way back to the office.  People look at us.  Laughing now about how much she laughed.

In the office Shirley Rose is telling everyone laughing.  Collapsed over a desk red faced exhausted laughing because the short man ran away.

NORMALLY GET RUN OVER IN THE CAR PARK Cancer Rob says lounging in for chat.  Wasting time waiting to retire.

NEVER GET OFF SITE.  MIGHT HAVE BEEN A DAY PATIENT.

WHAT DO WE DO? Vicky says.

FORGET IT Cancer Rob says.

Shirley Rose laughing.

I eat my sandwiches put kettle on roll a cigarette.  Nothing happens about it all day.

Home micro fries smell comforting on toast with beans for dinner booze is desert.

I watch Cross Of Iron because I read Armageddon but not ready for rest of Come And See.  DVD flat on the floor in front of TV sad boy on sleeve haunts me.  Scene with J Coburn and nurse dancing high in rehab making me stand shuffling on the rug ties the room together.  Ice tinkles in tumbler.  Only one booze tonight.

 Outside sky is streaks of black and joy.  I’m writing BE BRUTALLY BRIEF AND RANDOMLY SERPENTINE on my pad.  I’m dating it.  I’m turning the laptop on. 

Phone ringing HI JOHNNY, WERE YOU ASLEEP? she says tells off children in the background.

I AM STILL OVER 30.  EVERYTIME I WAKE I KNOW I AM NOT SPECIAL OR HAPPY I say.

YOU’RE NOT A LOOSER EITHER JOHNNY.  WERE YOU ASLEEP?  HAVE YOU EATEN?  I’M PAINTING STOOLS she says.

WASN’T ASLEEP.  EVERYONE SAYS THAT.  WHAT COLOUR?

Car slowly whooshes off in wet street number nine scooter screams like an F16.  Shut baby blue eyes see dogs burning hear Shirley Rose laughing.

RED WHITE AND BLUE she says.

NICE I say. 

Going to sleep can hear Shirley Rose laughs.