Wave a hand like a Jedi auto-doors would slide open anyway. Maternity entrance C level scheduled caesareans
tear tracksuit mums. I heard them when I
been in there their buffalo bellows. Small
shop baby clothes and bacon crisps. Tense
dad in Sergio Tachini buys a Sun all night eyes no socks.
Sky throbs a backlit grey
dreamt I peddled a dirt bike up a barren mountain pursued by suits I shot at
with tiny broken pistol. It is St
Apollonia’s Day patron of dentists.
Cheers last night Norm was genius TRIPS TO NIRVANA ARE DEDUCTABLE he
says.
Our bit of level B is
brown anus of hospital. Cadavers clog
corridor corner saw a taut foot flop out finished dull and dead once. MOR comes out kitchens radio staff share morning
stout. Big-eared linen man Patrick big
feet point outwards at maternity lifts mutter about wrong PM.
BROKEN LIFTS ARENT MAJORS FAULT PATRICK I say.
Walk in 8 AM brown Gola’s like Boy George New
York community service in the paper. PPE
not arrived. High windows frosted wired
break light into dust. Fruit sandwiches
and a book are in my bag. Early over
thirty still new feel old.
Shirley Rose skipping
down our bit of level B hair like
child’s always down. Bumps into me for
fun shoelace undone. Milks in a mug Hobnobs
in a hand I try to crush for fun. Her
hand is cool and bony. Shirley Rose
laughing.
I’M COMING BACK FOR YOU
JOHNNY. WE’RE GOING TO THE MI. YOU BEEN TO THE MI YET? she says goes into an
office. Tiny Debbie Lee hunched over PC called me hot
legs at interview. Mug has her dog on
it. Spills coffee down black boots on
box files and full bins.
HELLO LITTLE BOY she
says.
HELLO LITTLE BOSS I
say.
Our office Janine says
she saw TV called Fat Women And Feeders made her feel like Twiggy. Vicki says she saw half of Creep on pirate couldn’t
watch it it’s a horror she was alone.
WHAT YOU DO LAST
NIGHT JOHNNY?
Drunk I called
Rumsfeld a RED SKULL CUNT when news came on crashed in clothes. Full of codeine now.
OH, YOU KNOW I say.
BLUE EYED BOY SO
SECRETIVE Janine says.
Ash coming in Vicky
goes worried. Wife works in Legal.
DO YOU THINK HE HEARD
ABOUT PIRATE DVD? Vicky says.
Ash ignored by
everyone burnt his bridges. Hangs his
coat thumbs his phone.
GOT TO RING THIS GUY
ORDERED 16 MARBLE TOPS FOR MY KITCHENS IN THE HOUSES I BOUGHT PROBABLY HAVE TO
LEAVE EARLY he says phone to his face goes outside.
HE DON’T GIVE A SHIT
I say.
SHUSH. Vicky gone
nervous.
JOHNNY YOURE GOING
DOWN MI WITH SHIRLEY Janine says TAKE THIS DOWN. Clear bags full on the floor.
CAN I GO? NEVER BEEN DOWN THERE. I WANT TO SEE IT. BE INTERESTING. WONT GO ALONE Vicki says.
CAN I HAVE COFFEE
FIRST?
DO ME ONE Janine says.
Shirley Rose skipping
in with empty mugs. Coffee hello
counters codeine goodbye we crowd out.
I WISH A PLANE WOULD
CRASH INTO THE HOSPITAL OR SOMETHING. I
KNOW THAT’S BAD. OR A BIG FIRE. I DON’T KNOW, I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO DIE
Vicky says.
Shirley Rose
laughing.
THERES A NAME FOR
THAT. IT’S COMMON TO THINK LIKE
THAT. EVERYONE WANTS SOME VICARIOUS
DRAMA I say.
Vickys hairs shiny
red today been here since school she’s 21.
She don’t know what vicarious is I’m calling her a MOODY EMO BOY.
FUCK OFF I’M NOT A
BOY she says.
Shirley Rose
laughing.
I am carrying bags feel
tall because they aren’t.
TELL ME ABOUT THE MI
SHIRLEY ROSE I say.
I HEARD ITS ALL A BIT
CUCKOOS NEST Vicky says.
THEY GET WORSE THE
HIGHER YOU GO. I THINK IT’S FUNNY. TOP FLOOR THEY’RE REALLY BAD Shirley Rose says.
Connecting corridor
on Level A we’re going down stairs crowded with consultants cleaners
contractors Shirley Rose laughing at the cram.
MI unit. Out corridor windows empty courtyard in a
green cage green hoops and abandoned basketball. Green plastic chairs looking chucked.
LETS GET THE LIFT
Shirley Rose says. Shirley Rose bobs on balls
of her feet waits to laugh.
WHERE WE GOING?
ONLY B. WANT TO GET THE LIFT. IT’S FUNNY.
Shirley Rose laughing.
Lift announces A
FLOOR posh woman’s voice. Shirley Rose
laughing pressing B. B FLOOR lift says Shirley
Rose laughing.
B Level quiet corridors
divide to locked doors.
GO ON Shirley Rose
says. THAT BAG DOWN THERE. MI ASSESSMENT.
I’M NOT GOING ALONE
Vicky says.
Vickys on my heels Shirley
Rose bobs on balls of her feet waits.
Worn cardy woman walks
up corridor arm held tight by nurse in white.
No slap hair flat least of her concerns.
Calls out a noise when I’m close surprised I stop. Her eyes shine her eyes sparkle her eyes wet
with water watch thin white hand touch
my shoulder. Far away satisfied smile goes quiet goes on.
SHE JUST HAD TO TOUCH
YOU nurse says. Her eyes kind her eyes
dry her smile a beautiful smear of tolerance.
Vickys on my heels I’m
pressing the buzzer. Another worn cardy
woman inside walks in circles. Hairs a
birds nest.
THE CLEVER PROFESSOR
IS HERE she says eyes shine eyes sparkle eyes wet with water fix on me.
OH MY GOD Vicky says.
Nurse in white opens
up eyes are on my chin.
NEEDLES? she says.
IN THE BAG.
GAUZE? she says.
IN THE BAG.
THE CLEVER PROFESSOR
IS HERE eyes shine eyes sparkle eyes wet with water smile a ghost of joy.
Nurse closes up.
SEE ITS ALRIGHT
Shirley Rose laughing.
DON’T LIKE IT Vicky
says WOULDN’T COME DOWN HERE ALONE.
THEY’RE ONLY PEOPLE. LOOK AT THEIR SHINING EYES I say.
NEXT ONE, THIS
CORRIDOR, PRESS THE BUZZER, I’M COMING WITH YOU Shirley Rose says.
Vickys on my heels two
nurses open up laughing.
WHO ARE YOU? they say.
DISTRIBUTION I say.
COME IN THEN nurses say.
YOU’RE A RIGHT DOUBLE
ACT I say.
LOOKS LIKE WE A GOT A
BLUE EYED HECKLER! GET IN HERE HOT
STUFF. GIVE THAT BAG IN THE WINDOW.
Pass bag in office window
for blank face black man tache like TC.
THEY’RE MOODY IN
THERE BLUE EYES nurse says pulls a face.
WE’VE GONE NATIVE OUT
HERE HOT STUFF other nurse says strokes colleague’s curly hair.
I’m smiling into
dancing eyes smiling back. Press door release button lights go out. Nurses laugh outside Shirley Rose laughing.
TURN IT BACK
ON BLUE EYES! Nurses holding hands skip
away.
Lights on short man suddenly
one foot away. Three partings and patterned
jumper hair least of his concern.
PULL THE DOOR, THE
BUTTONS IN HERE TC says.
Silent pharmacy man silver
trolley boxes chains and locks rattle waits to come in. I’m holding the door wide when three partings
bolts out. Bolts but not that quick. Short legs more of a scamper scuttles away. The two nurses inside the ward laughing in
each others arms. Nothing happens. TCs looking away.
Door swings shut. Pharmacy man in me out. We’re alien scruffy on clean tile morning sun
shines in frosted windows. Shirley Rose
laughing loud. Three partings gone.
WE JUST GO? I say.
I DON’T KNOW Vicky
says.
LETS GO I say.
Shirley Roses going
red holds herself up on corridor railing hair tangling with evergreen plants. Separating her hair I move her on.
NO ONES DOING
ANYTHING she says gasps the words. She
cannot believe any of it. HE JUST RAN
OUT!
I got her by the arm
Vicky is on my heels. Shirley Rose is
redder. Beyond laughter now. She is crying. By the lifts she is helpless laughter silent. Nothing happens. No alarm is raised.
DID THEY SEE HIM?
Vicky says.
THEY SAW HIM I say.
WHAT DO WE DO? Vicky
says.
WE GET OUT OF HERE I
say.
Shirley Rose slumped
against the wall laughter bubbles up.
Shirley Rose laughing
all the way back to the office. People
look at us. Laughing now about how much
she laughed.
In the office Shirley
Rose is telling everyone laughing.
Collapsed over a desk red faced exhausted laughing because the short man
ran away.
NORMALLY GET RUN OVER
IN THE CAR PARK Cancer Rob says lounging in for chat. Wasting time waiting to retire.
NEVER GET OFF
SITE. MIGHT HAVE BEEN A DAY PATIENT.
WHAT DO WE DO? Vicky
says.
FORGET IT Cancer Rob
says.
Shirley Rose laughing.
I eat my sandwiches
put kettle on roll a cigarette. Nothing
happens about it all day.
Home micro fries
smell comforting on toast with beans for dinner booze is desert.
I watch Cross Of Iron
because I read Armageddon but not ready for rest of Come And See. DVD flat on the floor in front of TV sad boy
on sleeve haunts me. Scene with J Coburn
and nurse dancing high in rehab making me stand shuffling on the rug ties the
room together. Ice tinkles in tumbler. Only one booze tonight.
Outside sky is streaks of black and joy. I’m writing BE BRUTALLY BRIEF AND RANDOMLY SERPENTINE
on my pad. I’m dating it. I’m turning the laptop on.
Phone ringing HI
JOHNNY, WERE YOU ASLEEP? she says tells off children in the background.
I AM STILL OVER 30. EVERYTIME I WAKE I KNOW I AM NOT SPECIAL OR
HAPPY I say.
YOU’RE NOT A LOOSER
EITHER JOHNNY. WERE YOU ASLEEP? HAVE YOU
EATEN? I’M PAINTING STOOLS she says.
WASN’T ASLEEP. EVERYONE SAYS THAT. WHAT COLOUR?
Car slowly whooshes off
in wet street number nine scooter screams like an F16. Shut baby blue eyes see dogs burning hear
Shirley Rose laughing.
RED WHITE AND BLUE
she says.
NICE I say.
Going to sleep can
hear Shirley Rose laughs.
