i couldnt believe
that i had to sit there
a d l
l a o
l y n
g
with these strangers
this old woman
these weird smells
so i asked
and went to the toilets
and sat there
sat in the solitude there
in the quiet there
knowing i must go back
to that allocated chair
to the unknowable rules
to the faces
ugly dumb crumb covered faces
back to that clinking crate
its bottles of full fat milk
dirty from the truck
and warm from the sun
i knew i had to go back
knew if i did i would cry
knew if i cried
it would feed on itself
and i would be looked at
looked at and asked
all those unanswerable questions
on display and out of the loop
gagging at the thought of milk
at school
1978
from cpfc.org
