THE FUCKBRAIN HURRICANE (LAST DRINK 2)

so
i
was
cutting down
wasnt i ?
cos of the blackness
screaming nerves
and
loss of buzz

so
in
the 
daytime supermarket
wasnt i ?
with the fish wives
and
lonely men with mum-hemmed jeans

so
i
had
a
basket
of
steak and onions
and
those little wines 
cos
i
was
cutting down PROPERLY
wasnt i ?

no dangerous plummet to nought
for me

but my hands did stuff without me
didnt they ?
gone and got
some
whisky too
hadnt they ?

and
the
orange woman
with 
penciled-in eyebrows
was
bleeping barcodes super slow
wasnt she ?
cos of her disney-painted nails

  but

i wasnt about to put it back
was i ?
have some last hurrah
couldnt i ?

so
it
was
whisky with red wine chasers
wasnt it ?
and
i
called
it
the
Fuckbrain Hurricane 

i suffered blackness
screaming nerves
and
a
raging
 howling
  anti-buzz
that became the clearest 

  Moment 
  Of 
  Clarity

i
ever
ever
known

from ebay.co.uk

TIME WAS

  and
i would stumble outdoors
onto the day glare edge
  looking
  for
wine and steak / paranoid tv thrillers / scotch and ice

  and
  i
  called the world a no-no
  was
  mean / my heart a no-show
 
  listening
  to
rock music from that delicious turning point
  that
  was
  1965 

 from rock-music-on-sale.blogspot.com

TIME WAS

saturdays
were
hungover
laying 
around
militantly alone
fighting the mercury
shakes
and guilt
with
eggs
and juice
maybe
beer or stronger
and
codeine
and
a
little weed
till i
managed
to shop
for
gin and steaks and spice
to
put
me back together 

these saturdays
i lay 
around
sober
my head
on a 
sweet womans
cotton belly
my
hands
deep in the fur
of
the
worlds
softest
cat
thinking
about
the other saturdays
and
the white rage
now
gone