THREE POSSIBLE REPETITIONS

SEASONS NEVERMIND

i
write
without
drink

no one ever did a harder thing

and out there
autumn
dies
in
gold



TOMORROW IS A PLACE ON EARTH

i
thought
if
i
stopped drinking
i
would
die
in
the
flatness of the world

but i didnt



ETERNAL STORIES

the footlights now
are
a
nuclear glow

the actors

desperate

carry
on

from flatearthscienceandbible.wordpress.com

SHE COMES HOME

i
looked the dusk
dead
in
its
flat leaves and golden eye
and
i
announced to its nostalgia tones
that
if
she
didnt
come 
home
id be drinking again

if she didnt come home
id
be
out in the fields with a bottle
announcing
to
the
dusk
and its hints of doom
that
creep
in
round the sides of our eyes
that
she didnt come home
and
that
im drinking again

  but
  she
  does
  come
  home
with that rail station smile
and that rail station skip
that clean musk
and 
those soft paws
and
so
i put the kettle on for brews
and
eat 
my greens
  happy
    relieved 
      and
      alive

MY CAT

my cat is the sweetest cat in the world / no really / he waits on the hot windowsill for me when my eight hours are up / in i come / he flops on the hall rug / stretching out like a cuddle whore / wants a belly tickle 

we're watching tv sat on the floor / me and my lady having supper / he gets up on the sofa behind us / he doesnt whine for food or anything / he puts his head between us / rests on our shoulders 

he wakes up purring / he sleeps on her pillow in her hair / wakes up purring / he's so happy we're there

he fell asleep / my hand on his paws / me asleep too / his head on my hand / one little canine peeps out and touches my skin / 
he looks wise but not when that canine pops out 

he runs / like a madman / then he stops / sudden / dead / cleans himself like there was no rush at all 

he jumped in the shower once / water running / and he drinks any water / oily bath water / the bucket by the porch door with the fag ends in

his friend tigerface / maybe not his friend really / when tigerface comes round / starts sniffing at the food bowl my cat  just walks off all shy / and if he's out on garden patrol when tigerface comes sniffing round the food bowl / he waits in the distance till he's done and gone / then runs in 

when his bowl is nearly empty he has a look or nerves on his wise face / paces / wondering about his GoCat

he's still a good mouser / he plays with them mean / till their little hearts give out and he abandons them / a gift for me curled under the coffee table

he saw the last days of me drinking / he watched all the seasons of Lost on my lap / most of 24 too / snoring like an old man / and if theres thunder then its behind the toilet / crouched low and still / lost eyes / waiting for kind words

and when he looks at me / when i'm here writing / or watching the tube or spaced in the comfy chair / whatever / his gaze is long and steady and disturbingly adoring 

THIS BROKE ME

i'd get royalgod-blasted like it was a political statement
a short drink in each hand
out 
somewhere 
awful 
with no character or vibe than i noticed
tho
everyone else seemed happy enough
and
this made them seem stupid to me
so
i'd
always have a bottle at home
to
sip
and
sup
and
hold
to the light with jesuswonder in my eyes
so fucking pleased
to
be
alone at last
and
i'd write accelerated whitefire down one eye shut
before
dawn
said DUDE!
and burst out all clean and bright and for someone else

now
the fire is a pilot light
at the top of my spine
and
dawn
just nods a knowing HELLO