PHONE ATTACK

the ringing phone
& the alarm of it
hot up the spine

is a cold sweat flashback

to the days of brunch rum 

& apocalyptic nerves

~

its on the tv tho

just a phone 

on the tv show

& the relief of it

like a great fart
of volcanic steam

~

my hiccupped psyche 

needs a long minute 

to buffer & reseat  

on these sofa cushions 

of assumed maturity
in the adultscapes weird dream 

SCHOOL MORNING - A MEMORY POP

a bag of nerves
struggling with my dry cereal
every 
school
morning

in winter i was given bread
to
take
out
to
feed
the
birds

i savoured that short walk 
down the garden path
to the bird table

the creases in the cement
the knots in the wood

it
was
a
small escape
some baby zen

an oasis of morning purpose 

in
the
mad whirl
of
unexpressible days

HABITS

in the flat hours of day
belly
nerves
arrive
and
drum an empty hum of menace - a headache wallpaper 
of 
endtimes anxiety and nothingness fear
timid
but
balls-out
thumping 
the 
skins
and 
watching the show

i talk myself down from hard wired bad design/a habit now 

like
squinting hard and frowning tight
just
to
remember the date-numbers and year
cos
it
looks
like
no
time
id
ever
live
in
at all