NO LONGER A WINTER BOY

long winter of 

morning baths &

early lunches & 

the cat sleeping  

just where i want to 

stretch out next 

~ 

a derelict bridge halfway 

over give or take

wooden handrail cratered 

by cigarettes &

the black water is 

moving but only just 

~ 

i am suit tense but 

pyjama wasted & 

waiting on the blossom & 

breeze to make the air 

air again as i am no 

longer a winter boy

BIG ISSUES

 

make me feel

all

dumb
numb
&

down-low backwoods crazy 

like on the edge of panic

but in a valium bath

AFTER READING IN THE BATH, POP 1

we draw our bars
write them

try to see out
imagine it

& draw
that too

4D YING YANG

 

tomorrows yesterday
is time for lunch
& a nap

& yesterdays tomorrow

is suppertime

& a bath

next weeks last week

was a coffee binge

& posey ooze

as i flatten

relativitys 

4d ying yang

with my bad clay bulk

THE FALL GUY KNEW

 

impossible 

to overstate

the benefits

of moving water & outside air

three hours by a stream

in orchard shade

~

or like the fall guy

bath tub outside

his forest shack

a cigar

hat on low

tv-big foam

soaking away the pain

photo - Cluster Pine from the Dagenham Archive

POUNDSHOP HEADSPACE, A PILL PACK POP

SIX ACROSS, MADAGASCAR REDUX

if

in the devils

en suite

fleet street

madagascar

novotel

i hardstare dead ahead

thru the calendar walls

at realities overdrive

i see grandparents

younger than me

weeping air

over

a

year-old red-top

tv guides 6 across

~

sandpaper dry newspaper pages

crumble at a covered cough

sparking a smokers tut

over

an

empty bellys

sink estate cry

& 
hands like sepia maps

hold chipped china cups

of warm bath-tub gins

pale pale

fade-away 
dreams

~

five letters it says

they have a D from armageddon

so it starts with a D

'permanent state youre in' 
it says

'walking _____ '

in the devils

en suite

fleet street

madagascar

novotel

from agoda.com

ABDICATION GLUE RAIN

CURRICULUM VITAE

im there

in the shadow

abdication
on the to-do list

king
of
my machine




CHILDHOOD GARAGE FORECOURT

struggle pup
lapping at the
rainbow puddles

out there trying
in
the
oil
slick
rain




FORENSIC ANALYSIS

one
day
long ago

i think

an excessive steamy bath

undid
all
my glue

from istockphoto.com

FRIDAY O CLOCK HAIKU

good book in bath

tells me things i know 

we
kidnapped evicted veg


~


white cat on back step

sleeps sat up

cold air comes inside

foodcrumbles.com

METAPHOR BATH BEFORE SUPPER

give me
give me
give me

that home comfort smell
&
baby thunder 
of 
a
hot running bath

that easy peak 
of civilisation

&
the reassuring 
background bubbling
of
a
simple stew 
happily simmering 
out 
there
on the kitchen stove


~


i wallow 
contented
in my own 
hot water dirt

i delight
at
the 
murder aroma
of
the
softening beef

& 
i think 
my hands
are clean

from onceuponachef.com

TWO DOMESTIC MOMENTS

theres wood
laid over the rubble

& sky 
over that


~


& the bath i run
smells like
the baths we ran

in
hotel
bathrooms

years ago

from pinterest.com

ALMOST ANIMAL

DULL SENTIENCE IN A BLISTER PACK

the
d i s t a n c e
i
feel
sometimes
streetside

is hermetic

i am walking on the moon

~

i am the physical manifestation
of
a
wired jetlag 
attempt to relax
in a new city 
back corridor
hotel bathtub
where the window 
looks out at 
four square feet of
sunless dead brick
and where 
down two miles 
of carpet tunnel  
is
the 
front desks lobby bustle minefield 
and 
tourist tout postcard parade

and past that
down
important steps

is
an
8pm union square xmas

from italianleathergloves.com

HARDLY BOXFRESH

new year then
its hardly 
boxfresh 

the postman brings
folded fragments 
of the future

potted
pamphlets
from the past

~

new year then

so soon
its like an old sock

same old card game
same old hand 

come on spring come on
your distance disturbs

afternoon patio
birdsong in the sun

~

and that 
last night
of a
gone year
used
to be
nostalgia 
unbearable

used 
to be 
fletch on 
bbc2 
00.10 jan 1st

dregs of drugs
take till dawn

~

and the 
night time bath 
i draw 
these n/y/e days

could be the same water 

as lemmys
last jd ice

pic from ebay.co.uk

SKY, ANXIETY AND TELEPHONES

the sky is a grey i would call dishcloth
is calling the sky dishcloth fair ?

it is the SKY

the sky is blank canvas
the sky is lead  or leaden
the sky is an unmade movie
a child  also unmade
a clean sheet  dawn made the bed

there you go  better ?

anyway my anxiety finds a target
magnifies blemishes to the moon

who are you ?  it says
is this enough ?
what is enough ?
what are you doing  with life  today ?

it tells me i been mean to the sky

it laughs at my nascent plastic zen

~

the postman has nothing for me today
he is missing a front tooth  he always has a smile

anyway i am not dressed

i was interviewed to be a postie
they seemed unsure that i could get up early
they explained a posties bag gets lighter as the round goes on

it was weird  i didnt get the job 

theres nothing new for me to see out the window
number 4s new lantern is old hat now
number 2s detritus is static

always the red berry bush tho
full of brids
full of bees
spiders live deep inside

there is no one to look in and see me in the window

or there is

dog walkers
school runners
an anoraked active oldster with a purple plastic bag

no one looks in tho  i would  i do  if i am out

look in in the sweet spot  

early dusk
dark enough for living room lights
light enough out for curtains to be left wide

see the tvs on the chimney breast
blue light on faces

~

so my anxiety finds a target
a limpet on a forgotten carbunkle
act now  it says  or tomorrow is under threat

so today i am worried about battery leaks
its acid you know  alien blood
inside those little magic sealed tubes
inside those flat black slabs with a sticker on and gold teeth

i got a box of old mobile phones down there under those hardbacks  
theres memories of the streets in there

they got batteries

try explaining this tech abundance to an older generation
its upside down economics nan
i dont know what to do about that

the third world mined my superconductors with their hands
i dont know what to do about that either

i open this box
i take the batteries out the phones

i am worried about leaks you see

theres tobacco smoke words and old old plans behind the keypads
yesteryears anxiety on a circuit board

i go round the house taking the batteries out of everything
i put them in a freezer bag in a drawer in the back porch

i am worried about leaks you see

i leave the smoke alarm alone  duh
i leave the tv remote alone too  double duh
i leave them in the stereo remote too  mega duh

i even make it into the loft
dusty shapes of forgotten kipple loom in there

i can see outside thru bad masonry
i can see out the small window
useless and mysterious from the street i can see thru the bathroom extractor
see down to where we bath

i take the battery from an old camcorder
i ignore the tapes
fuck hell yes i ignore the tapes 

i sweat in the dry dust
anxiety has a lot to say

i know there is an old laptop up here
its got a skeletor sticker on it
its got a desert eagle sticker on it
i wrote a bad novel on it

i can picture it but i dont find it

and oh my god theres so much stuff up here !
i put that on the back burner with herculean effort

i sweat more in the dry dust

its like visiting my own back brain up here

~

anyway this box of mobile phones is memories of the streets

i hold one
a wap phone  remember wap phones ?

wap  wap  wap

a quick phone memory  more another time - 

it is the motorola i used when i had absinthe for lunch in hyde park
it was my birthday
we had no food

i remember office workers were coming out for lunch
they were getting their legs out for the sun

~

i remember how when mobiles were new or when i caught up and got one
i remember i would only use mine in a phone box  

ha

i would only use it in the rusty smell of old piss and fags
this made sense to me then
it was like it was some kind of progress protest

i would walk in the street with it ringing . . .

i remember there was that rich kid at college  
red soft top sport car  car phone  1989? 
twat we said twat 

that sentiment was universal then 

i remember my first glastonbury  1992/3?
i remember it was like a mad max barter town
i remember the beastie boys were on the friday night
i remember everyone who had a mobile ring there was RIDICULED  

that sentiment was universal then
  
i remember i left my blackberry at home once  20??
i went into town without it
i thought it would be fine 
it was bullshit  

just bullshit

you dont realise
you dont have the old network 
you dont have the old habits 

phone boxes now got the coin slot welded shut  
phone boxes assume you want to make an international call

just bullshit

~

i remember a burst of new phone boxes
it was like a rash  199?

i remember they appeared outside the macdonalds and seven-eleven
out where that girl bit that other girls ear off
trail of blood there for a week

i remember there was a whole paved square full of them
phone boxes  not ears  

they were all painted different colours  
they were all owned by different companies  
they were all different shapes and sizes
they came up out the high street blockpaving overnight  

some were internet phone boxes  

it was weird 
they all disappeared as quick as they came

it was some kind of deregulation ejaculation
no on else seems to remember this

anyway i done my bit to prevent battery leaks for now

~

loft . . . whispers anxiety 

from btphonecardcollection.co.uk

LIFE IS

MORNING WONDERING

  the 
postman is late

  hes out there
  in
  the
struggling hatchback streets
  
          where
  clots of kids
  eyes down on glass palms
  walk to school in black
    to 
    unlearn wonder

  i write small 
    blab-pops
    of
eurgh & unmurder
    of
whatever & meh

then run a bath

wondering how many of YOU
  regularly
    piss
      in
        yours

and of Time / the rolling-over Sun
and
how
we
locked
it
into a machine we wear
  and
  live our lives
  on 
  its 
  numb47s