SILENT MIGRAINE

Dear Diary;

freak high of undiagnosed infection

feels like I smoked skunk for dinner

the day after a heavy night.

Dear Diary;

I

am

floating

in

space.

Dear Diary;

are jazz cigarettes a good way to come down?

Dear Diary;

they are not

but they mask Weirdness.

in the evening I bang hayfever tabs

and

serial

eat

roasts.

increasingly thicker gravy/diminishing yorkshires.

Dear Diary;

stare at amazing swirls of cloud and grotesque beautiful street faces.  slim identity held together by watching any movie.

Dear Diary;

I

go

visit

my

GP.

he judges my drug seeking behaviour.

see’s the hunger in my eyes.

poster for an art exhibit by a relative above his desk.

he’s punishing me with meds make my heart go thud.

  

Dear Diary;

outside the garden EXPLODES and at work

I

am

floating

in

space

fixating on the small planets in the dumb café.

Dear Diary;

insight comes with alien distance.

am I a full man person living anymore;

I frown at the Familiar Things about me. like my bulbs been replaced with mescaline.

 

Dear Diary;

I need awful routine I think or I just

Dont Know Who I Am.  afternoons now stuffed with day long hours I cling and hug mescaline walls.

Dear Diary;

go to bed early sleep without rest and dream;

of 3 bags full of

Important Things

I’m escaping African civil war

by flying to Fort Worth Texas

pissing before dawn I lie back down into

3.40am sudden bliss.

I listen to the racket happen out there.

Dear Diary;

up before the alarm/my choice/my tiny control.

I clean the wine sediment

out

the

bath

blown away by the definition of my hands.